Monday, October 24, 2011

The S word.........

Ahhh Yes, there are few words that can strike protest and rebellion among women like the word "SUBMIT"! Some believe it is an ancient word for "Be a Slave to..." especially if you are not a Christ following, bible believing woman. If you do not know the Lord than I am about to say things that will be considered foolishness to you but hang in there and maybe you will learn something new :) Christ honoring wives, many of us have issues with the word as well....Maybe we had a father who misused his God given leadership or maybe we are even married to men who are currently misusing their God given leadership. The purpose of this will not be to shine light on their short comings but to shine light on the truth of Godly Submission and to prayerfully change hearts about what that looks like.

Submission.....Webster gives us two interesting definitions of this word. 1. the condition of being submissive, humble or compliant. 2. the act of submitting to authority or control of another. Hmmm, I find that most often we look at submitting as definition "2". We think we are required to hand ultimate control over to our spouse and that we are at their mercy. This is NOT Godly submission. God's Word says 
"...submitting to one another in the fear of God. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as also Christ is Head of the Church; and He is the Saviour of the Body. Therefore, just as the Church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the Church and gave Himself for it.... So husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself" (Ephesians 5:21-25,28).  and again "Likewise you wives, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the Word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. Do not let your beauty be that outward adorning of arranging the hair, of wearing gold, or of putting on fine apparel; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible ornament of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God" (1 Peter 3:1-4).

God's word tells us we are to be submissive to His family design. When we submit to the leadership of our husbands we are really submitting to God. Again my blogs are pretty much from the stand point of we as Godly wives taking responsibility for our own actions. I know there are situations for some wives that may be dangerous and I am not suggesting if you are in physical danger to stay and submit to physical and emotional torment. I do suggest to contact your Pastor or someone you trust and seek help immediately. That is not Godly submission please believe me. I want us to focus on our actions because honestly we are responsible for no one else.

 In this feminist world we live in, I may be viewed as weak. I do not trash talk my husband in public or in private. I do not go off and make important decisions with out his approval, I do not wear the pants in this home and my children know what dad says goes. On the flip side, I do not have to trash talk my husband because I have nothing to say against him he is honored and respected in his home, he loves God and I believe the fact that I trust him to make the right decisions helps him to be the leader God has created him to be. My husband and I are a unified front in our home, we've discussed what we expect from our children, explained it to them and there is no division. My husband is a man and a leader and I treat him as such. He knows that he will answer to God for this family one day and it is my privilege to stand next to him in this life so that the Lord can look at him and say well done.......

Suggested reading if you really need help here 1. Obviously the Bible 2. Every Woman's Marriage by Shannon Etheridge. 3. Power of a praying wife By Stormie O'Martian. Please feel free to comment your favorite reads to help others in this area as well......Next time we talk about the "Bait and Switch"

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Oh the Thinks You Can Think.......

So it was about 8 years ago when I finally realized there was something very wrong with my way of thinking, in my marriage that is. I was raised in brokenness. My parents divorced when I was 4, they both remarried and divorced again and by the time I was 15 they were both living with people they were not married to. I do not share this to judge my parents in any way, rather to show where I formed my views on what a married relationship should look like. Truth is I had no idea what a healthy marriage looked like! Fast forward 10 years and I am now 25 standing at the front of a chapel, promising to love, honor and OBEY (oh yes, I said it ladies). I was a brand new believer and now a brand new wife.....Yeah, needless to say the first two years of marriage were HARD! I thought I had this relationship thing all figured out, I'm a christian now so the  Holy Spirit will just automatically "make" me love, honor and obey. Come to find that is not how it works at all. I not only had the wrong idea about relationships but I also had the wrong idea about Marriage.

 Oh the big Day, my wedding! When we exchanged vows on my wedding day I had the misconception that I was making a covenant with my husband and he with me, I was completely wrong. It was not one covenant but two, I was making a covenant with God to love, honor and obey. My husband made his own covenant with God to love, honor, protect and LEAD. So for two years of my life I tried to get him to be the husband he promised "me" he would be (not that he was that far off) and I totally ignored what I had promised "him". I thought if he would just LEAD me the way I think he should then I would OBEY the way I should. Totally missed the mark, I promised God I would love, honor and obey my husband and it was an eye opening day when I realized God expects me to uphold my covenant with Him REGARDLESS of what my husband is doing or not doing. I am responsible for my actions and only my actions. My husband had to answer to God NOT to me and truth is I wasn't really the easiest person to love in my critical pride but he loved me anyway.

Our thinking must always be tested by Gods word and we have to be willing to evaluate our own hearts and actions. Oh the blame game seems to be so much easier but honestly do you want to be right or do you want to have a God honoring marriage? Let God do a work in you and your marriage. Confess to Him any ways you are dishonoring your covenant with Him ask Him to help you walk through any obstacles that are preventing you from being the wife He created you to be and it may not be popular int his post modern culture but we are called to Godly submission..... More on that next time :)